长篇英语笑话最新6篇

笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。其趣味有高下之分。这次漂亮的小编为您带来了长篇英语笑话最新6篇，希望能够给予您一些参考与帮助。

英语笑话爆笑带翻译 篇1

河上漂流（中英）

A man is walking past a travel agents office when he notices a billboard announcing, "4 day cruise down the Murray River $40 all inclusive.”

一个男人路过旅行社时，看到一个广告栏上面写着“顺着墨累河漂流四天，全部费用只需40美元”。

Impressed by the low price, he races into the shop, slaps $40 onto the counter and announces, "I' m here for the Murray cruise.” Quick as a wink, the travel agent whips out a baseball bat and knocks him unconscious.

面对如此低价的诱惑，他大步走进旅行社把40美元往桌上一拍，然后说:“我报名墨累河之游。”眨眼间，旅行社的店员抽出一根棒球棍，一下就把那个人打昏了。

When the man wakes, he finds himself tied to a floating log and drifting down the river. After a time, he notices another man in same predicament on the other side of the river.

当那个人醒来之后，发现自己被捆在一个木筏上，正沿着河水往下漂呢。过了一会儿在河的另一边，他看到一个和他处境一样的人。

"$40 Murray cruise?" he calls out.

"40美元墨累河之游？”他喊到。

"Yep!" says the man on the other side.

“是呀！”那人答道。

"I'll bet you we don't even get breakfast,”he yells.

“我打赌我们还没吃早饭呢。”他喊道。

"Well，”calls the other man, “we did last year.”

“对，”另一个人说，“我们去年吃过了。”

长篇英语笑话 篇2

A PresentKate: Mom, do you know what I"m going to give you for your birthday?

Mom: No, Honey, what?

Kate: A nice teapot.

Mom: But I"ve got a nice teapot.

Kate: No, you haven"t. I"ve just dropped it.

凯特的礼物

凯特：妈妈，你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗？

妈妈：不知道，宝贝，是什么呀？

凯特：一把漂亮的茶壶。

妈妈：可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。

凯特：不，你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。

作业：

The Doctor Knows Better

A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital.

His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."

"I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor.

Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive."

"Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

长篇英语笑话 篇3

A School-report The father was reading the school-report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful as he read: "English, poor, French, weak, mathematics, mathematics, Fair," and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad. "Wall, Dad." Said the son, "it is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" And he pointed to the next line, which read: "Health excellent."

学期总结 父亲正在读儿子刚刚交给他的学期总结，他的儿子满怀希望的看着他，而他则生气的读着学期总结："英语，差；法语，中；数学，良。"然后，他厌恶地看着那个正在抖动着身子的小子。"恩，老爸。"儿子说："那没有达到本来应该达到的优秀水平，不过你没看到那儿？"他指着下一行，读到："健康状况，优秀。" 鲜艳)

笑死人不偿命的英语笑话 篇4

A small boy and his father were having a walk in the country when it suddenly began to rain very hard． They did not have their umbrella with them， and there was nowhere to hide from the rain， so they were soon very wet， and the small boy did not feel very happy． For a long time while they were walking home through the rain， the boy was thinking． Then at last he turned to his father and said to him，“Why does it rain， Father？ It isn't very nice， is it？” “No， it isn't very nice， but it's very useful，Tom，”answered his father．“It rains to make the fruit and the vegetables grow for us， and to make the grass grow for the cows and sheep．” Tom thought about this for a few seconds， and then he said，“Then，why does it rain on the road too， Father？”

一个小男孩和他的父亲正在乡间行走，突然下起了大雨。 他们没带伞，加上四下无处可以躲雨，所以很快他们浑身上下被淋湿了，小男孩感到很不好受。 他们在雨中朝家走去，有好一会儿，那个男孩一直在思索着什么。后来终于他朝父亲转过脸去，问他说：“爸爸，为什么天会下雨呢？下雨可不太好，是吧？” “是呀，下雨是不太好，可是下雨也有很多有益的地方，汤姆。”父亲回答说。“老天爷下雨促使了为我们所食用的水果和蔬菜的生长，同样也促使牛羊所吃的青草的生长。” 汤姆对父亲的这番话想了一会，然后说：“那么，父亲，老天爷为什么还要把雨下在路上呢？”

长篇英语笑话 篇5

What Are The Two Words？A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter．“My dear，” said the old lady，“I wish you would do something for me．I wish you would promise me never to use two is‘lousy’and the other is‘swell’．Would you promise me that？ “Why，sure，Granny，”said the girl．“What are the two words？”

一个非常高贵的老夫人有几句话要对她的孙女说。“我亲爱的，”老夫人说：“我希望你能帮我一个忙。我要你答应永远不要用两个词。一个是‘讨厌的’，另一个是‘极好的’。你能答应我吗？” “噢，当然，奶奶。”女孩说：“是哪两个词？”

笑死人不偿命的英语笑话 篇6

Walking up to a department store's fabric（织物，布） counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"

"Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk（假笑，傻笑） 。 "That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards."

With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly（故意使人烦恼地） held it out.

The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer（老家伙） standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill."

一个漂亮的。女孩走到百货公司的布料柜台，说：“我想要买这种料子来做一条新裙子，多少钱？”

“每码只需要一个吻。”男售货员说着，带着奸笑的表情“很好，”女孩说，“我要十码。”

带着期待的表情，售货员很快地量好了布料，包裹好，一脸奸笑地送了过来。

女孩很快收起了包裹，微笑着指向了一个站在她身边的老头：“爷爷给我付账。”